Soliloquy

its 11 pm here…heck, i don’t really know what the time is…it’s nice not to be dictated by it…on my way home today, I couldn’t help but to pass by the internet shop to listen to an mp3 i emailed to myself…have no sound card in the university…bummer!…its Yvette Barbara Almalbis’ new Close Up song…Just a Smile…as usual, her song filled me with happiness and thoughts of home…guess what i would do? i would leave the mp3 file here in the computer so that curious peeps would play it and equally be inspired…be inspired by something Pinoy! Godspeed to all you wanderers!

Just a Smile

Barbie Almalbis

I wanna tell you everything, easily
Won’t you come up closer
I want to, hear you breathe

I’m walking down the street
I’m lost at sea
But out of the crowd you smile
And you’re all I see

You make me feel like I
Can get lost inside your eyes
I feel closer to the sky
When you save the day
With just a smile
Just a smile

I wanna meet you someday soon
‘Cause I know you in my mind
Everything will be different
When I have you right beside

You can take the whole wide world
With your boyish charm
But even as you pull me close
I won’t just stay in your arms

You make me feel like I
Can get lost inside your eyes
I feel closer to the sky
When you save the day
With just a smile

Well it’s for you and everyone
I thought I’ve searched the world in vain
Now look at me
And the search is done
We will never be the same
Not the same

You make me feel like I
Can get lost inside your eyes
I feel closer to the sky
When you save the day
With just a smile

Oh you make me feel like I
Can get lost inside your eyes
I feel closer to the sky
When you save the day
With just a smile

Just a smile, a smile
Just a smile

It’s easy to get lost in a forest, especially when you are all alone, no compass and it’s your first time there.  Heck, it wasn’t even a forest.  It has got a trail, lamp posts and maps. However, I did get lost!
It’s Bürgerpark.  Walking through it made me feel I was in a Tolkien epic.  Fangorn.  High, thick canopies blocking out the sun. Bürgerpark is one of Germany’s finest landscape.  Its garden’s occupy a 202 hectare area which includes the neighboring city forest.  Created from a former common grazing land (1886) now serves citizens as a local leisure area.  Its got some legends behind it too.  Come here to find out.

I was stained, with a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right I just didn’t know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I’ve seen, cause I’ve seen, twilight

Never cared never wanted
Never sought to see what flaunted
So on purpose so in my face Couldn’t see beyond my own place
And it was so easy not to behold what I could hold
But you taught me I could change Whatever came within these shallow days

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I’ve seen, cause I’ve seen

As the sun shines through it pushes away and pushes ahead
It fills the warmth of blue and leaves a chill instead and
I didn’t know that I could be so blind to all that is so real
But as illusion dies I see there is so much to be revealed

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I’ve seen, cause I’ve seen, twilight

I was stained, by a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right
I just didn’t know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I’ve seen, cause I’ve seen, twilight…

Yesterday, was another first for me.   Going around the very historic Hanseatic City of Bremen.  I have been doing that a lot already, but yesterday was different.  Very different.  There were four of us.  Two guides.  And I don’t mean tourist guides.  GUIDES! They stayed in Bremen long enough to actually be part of its culture.  I hope I would also be someday.  Long enough.  Imerse in the culture as I would say.  That’s the best way to appreciate a foreign country without losing your own cultural identity.  You would also appreciate further your heritage.  Anyway, after mass, around 2 pm, I went to St. Petri Dom and sat in a bench with pigeons and arctic wind blowing.  Read a book first passing the time as we would be meeting still at 4 in the afternoon.  An appropriate book to that too.  A novel.  Meeting at the train station at the specified time, we first hear a story, a myth, a parable from one of my friends about the origin of a big park in Bremen.  Going to a more historic path, we went to Domsheide (city center) where the Rathaus (Municipal Building) and St. Petri Dom was.  The Rathaus was a lot more interesting as it is one of the oldest buildings in Bremen.  Undisturbed by the World War, it stood proudly and mightily.  They said an American pilot was supposed to bomb it however, looking at it overhead, admiring its beauty, he didn’t land his projectile to it.  Wars really is the enemy of architecture.  And architecture reflects the culture of a people.  We next went to Bocherstrasse where the Bremen town musician’s fable is celebrated.  I admired the Glochenspeil.  Very hypnotic. Then we went to the Schnoor, again one of the oldest cities in the country.  And you would really feel transported in time.  With its medieval like houses and fairy tale like cobblestoned streets, you would really feel you are in another world.  We capped the evening with some drinks at this Mexican restaurant.  Shared experiences.  Laughed.  Another first.  Hoping for more of these "firsts."  It was a very "firsty" weekend.  Auf Wiedersehen!

   I have less than seven years
To fill up the glass jar
Tomorrow make a big window
To keep me from being old

‘Coz its dark and I am lonely
Only cause I’ve time to be lonely
And living here is bitter as dying
Leaving me was easier than loving

Help me say farewell to the floor
‘Coz now I sleep sideways
Like a fetus for more security

‘Coz its dark and I am lonely
‘Coz I’ve the money to be lonely
Living here is bitter as dying
Leaving me was easier than loving

Its dark and I am lonely
Only cause I’ve time to be lonely
Its dark and I am lonely
‘Coz I’ve the money to be lonely

Its dark its dark and I am lonely
Its dark its dark and I am lonely
Its dark its dark and I am lonely
Its dark its dark and i am

Finally, I got to watch my first movie here in Germany.  After searching for original versions of movies, I finally got to sit back and relax and enjoy a movie.  "Kino" as they call it.  Cinema.  Very comfy seats and German technology audio systems.  I suddenly forgot I was in Germany.  I was in a different world.  Zoned out.  Mesmerized.  Hoping more of these "firsts".  Sehen Sie Sie an den Filmen!

I have been reading the book "Da Vinci Code" and one would really carried away by the "facts" portrayed in the book.  However, one should look at how religion plays a role in one’s daily undertakings.  One may view it as historical - a series of events.  One may view it as a collection of facts similiar to how science works.  Or one may view it as a form of inspiration - one which gives meaning to our existence.  One thing is for sure.  It shaped what we are, it shapes what we are experiencing and it will shape things to come.

Looking up I saw nothing
But blue in the bluest sky
And now it’s creeping across my eye
Going down in my mind, down in my mind
I’m high and I’m hopeless
So help me to get untied
Fast asleep now I’m going blind
Falling down in my mind, down in my mind
Just fine
Emulate the style
A competition smile
Now I’m running, not looking
And opening up my brain
Where it’s easy to lose my name
Looking dumb in the rain, dumb in the rain
I’m hoping you’ll notice
That no one else helps me grow
Oh, it’s not easy to let you know
What I’m dying to show
Dying until you know
Pretending all the while
A competition smile
Now I’ve thrown something far
And it haunts me like a curse
I’m like a stone
Falling hard
And I’m only getting worse
Looking up I saw nothing
But blue in the bluest sky
And now it’s creeping across my eye
And going down in my mind, down in my mind
I’m high and I’m hopeless
So help me to get untied
Fast asleep now I’m going blind
Falling down in my mind, down in my mind
Just fine
Pretending all the while
A competition smile
I’m hiding high…

Looking all around the room I see the clutter in the gloom
I’m not only back, I’m not only numb
Changing shades within the evening
In a day then I’ll be leaving
I’m not only back, I’m not only numb
When the air at home is thin
Getting out then looking in
Yeah she knows, she knows, she knows
It ain’t awful hard to tell
What it’s like, my little hell
Yeah she knows, she knows, she knows
I’m now familiar with the tone I hear in bed when I’m alone
I’m not only back, I’m not only numb
In the shade below the eaves
Think I could chain smoke anything
I’m not only back, I’m not only numb
When the air at home is thin
Getting out, then looking in
Yeah she knows, she knows, she knows
It ain’t awful hard to tell
What it’s like, my little hell
Yeah she knows, she knows, she knows
She knows, she knows, she knows
She sees all the cars around the parking lots of bars we’ve played and stayed
Started laughing, looking down upon the bed that we’ve made
We’ve made, we’ve made, we’ve made
She sees all the cars around the parking lots of bars we’ve played and stayed
Started laughing, looking falling down across the bed that we’ve made
We’ve made, we’ve made, we’ve made
The air at home is thin
When getting out, then looking in
I’m not only back, I’m not only numb
Changing shades within the evening
In a day, then I’ll be leaving
I’m not only back, I’m not only numb…

Your life has been so hard
It’s dried up angels, can’t keep guard
And I’m trying to reach your hand
But I’m on fire
I never meant to fade… away
Just stop pretending when they say you’re nothing
Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn’t be

————————————————————–
How many times have you been pushed around?
Is anybody there?
Does anybody care?
And how many times have your friends let you down?
Is anybody there?
Did anybody stare?

And how many times have your friends let you down?
Just open up your heart
Just open up your mind
And how many times has your faith slipped away?
Well, is anybody safe?
Does anybody pray?

And how many days have you just slept away?
Is everybody high?
Is everyone afraid?
And how many times have you wished you were strong?
Have they ever seen your heart?
Have they ever seen your pain?